Sorry ladies...

I can't clone him. Although, since he is THAT good, then I should probably share. Contact me for a scheduling.
My husband is so wonderful. All week long he keeps telling me there's a surprise for me. I have no clue what it is, and then the Fedex lady shows up at my door. I open the package and find: Final Fantasy X-2.

Now imagine that gum commerical lady...Fabulous!

Oh, if you are wondering..I got my check yesterday. Damn, State Farm is quick!
TTFN

Insert Homer Simpson drool here 

Arrogant Sage and the Case of the Missing Diamond

Yes, you heard me right...my diamond is missing. Let me describe my beautiful engagement ring. It was platinum solitare with a little over a 1/2 carat diamond held by 4 prongs. It's those prongs that were my undoing. They have always given me trouble. Pretty much to the point where I didn't really where the ring at all.

I went swimming in a river with friends (a lovely time was had by all), apparently I hit a rock and my diamond is now somewhere in the riverbed.

No worries, ladies and gents. I have INSURANCE...not just renters, but personal policy on just the ring. Here's how it works. My ring was insured for $2500. They don't have to give me that full amount automatically. They have to find me an exact replacement. After finding a replacement, I have 2 options. I can either take the replacement, or I can take what it would cost to get the replacement. Of course, their replacement cost is much lower than if I had tried to replace it on my own. 

The ring they were going to replace it with is already in the blog....Picasa works weirdly. I want  the cash settlement so I can buy a smaller ring and spend lots of dough at Ikea!

Cough, cough, sniffle, sniffle

The last two days our household has been infected with a virus....okay, call me drama queen. Actually, our computer has been infected with the horrible mydoom virus. It's not fatal, but it will email itself to anyone in our address book. So, if you are in our address book (and you know who you are), don't open an attachment from me that came in the last couple of days.

Trust me, I didn't send you anything...why in the world would I want to communicate with you folks? ;)

So now our 'puter is clear. Don't let your's get the sniffles.

Confession of a Crazed Woman

In the Book of Arrogant Sage, Chapter 2, Verse 13 it reads: "You shall not suffer a Perfectionist to live!"

Oye Ve...what is it with this particular breed of human being? I mean, I don't mind if you are a Perfectionist about your own doings. That's your business if you want to make yourself crazy. But please, please, please leave me out of it.

Last night I shined a goddamned light bulb!! Yes, you heard me. A light bulb was dirty..so I had to clean it. Who the hell notices dirty light bulbs?? Oh yeah, Perfectionists. So, peep this..there was this job, that I quit, and then I was called back in to go over some stuff that the boss's boss didn't like. She wants me to scrape things with my fingernails. She literally wanted me to go through the apts with a toothbrush. All in the name of generating more hours so she could "feel" like a superior job was being done. Sure it means more money, but it also equates to busy work. Basically, if there is nothing to be done, then make something up.

Now don't get me wrong. There were some things that were missed. Particularly that damn hood vent. It looked like I barely touched it...but then the Perfectionist wants that thing to look like it's brand new. Of course we won't mention the countless people who have lived in any given apartment...and how long they lived there without cleaning it once.

Help me Obi-wan...help me.

Arrogant Sage: Condensed Version

• Twisted ankle on Thursday or Wednesday. I was hurrying out to see JA so I could tell her something witty.
• Friday was D's birthday. He's old...well, the oldest he's ever been. T took in the girl for the night. We went to dinner and the drive-in. I-Robot was GREAT...and Dodgeball was actually funny.
• Saturday we slept in. I didn't get out of bed until 10am! ahhhhh But we had to get the girl.
• Sunday was lazy day...I have a lot of those.
• Oh yeah, on one of these days, I gave the girl a haircut....good thing she's cute, cause her hair is dreadfully short.

  

Kudos to the folks at blogger.com. I am loving these new controls.

I can't believe it either.

I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I also did some pilates this morning.

Who the hell is this creature in my pajamas? Nevermind, I know who she is...check out the nasty kitchen...SHE'S BACK!

Do you hear that Rocky theme song playing in your head?

I do.

This weekend has been filled with little triumphs for me. I went to a birthday party Saturday. It was great fun and of course the food was fabulous. So, of course I ate....a lot. In fact, by the end of the day, my Weight Watchers points totalled 56.5. For those who know the system, your eyes are probably bugging out. For those who don't, well, let me help with a visual. I only get 26 points a day to spend. Sure, I have flexpoints, but I didn't really have enough to cover that day.

So I thought about chalking it up to just being a greedy fat pig and I can start over on Monday, but then I noticed that I had only gone over my weekly allotment of Flexpoints by 3 points. Hmmmmm, how shall I make those up? Here's the kicker everyone....I actually jogged! For 20 minutes straight! Anyone who has had Asthma for a good portion of their lives will tell ya, jogging for 3 minutes is a miracle sometimes...well, except those with good meds.

I felt like a freaking super hero. Like I could rescue small kitties out of trees. My body is a little sore, but I KNOW I can do it now. I didn't just give up (like I usually do). Now, A is going to join me in a morning jog instead of our usual walk. That girl is a trooper.

On Sunday, we went on a family walk. We snagged some friends (JA and company)and walked to a nearby park. I think we spent a good hour or two out there, just playing around like little kids. There was this very neat futuristic playground that just screamed climb me...so we did! The whole family had a lot of fun...and JA who swore she wouldn't be able to make it there and back, did it like an old pro...and managed to play a bit in between.

When we got back home, I set up the barber shop in the bathroom. D needed a hair cut...REALLY. It was starting to get curly and long like a little school girl. Now the question is, "Arrogant Sage, have you ever cut anyone's hair before? Have you even TRIMMED anyone's hair before?" And of course the answer is "No".
But the man trusted me to cut his hair...in a professional manner. So, I nervously made the first snips...then got a little bolder and made it shorter and shorter. I went around his head like I knew what I was doing...thank goodness he has paid attention everytime he has had a hair cut. He makes a great instructor. The end result...FABULOUS. If I do say so myself. In fact, I think D is a little shocked about it too. He really likes it. I'm superwoman damnit!

Now my last triumph....culinary in nature. As soon as I finished that, I went straight to the kitchen to make us a good old fashioned Southern meal. The kind that takes an hour or more to cook. I had a huge pot of collard greens, some lightly battered pork chops, and sweet fried apples. Big meal...worth about 11 points if you manage to only eat one pork chop.

I feel good this morning. Oh hey, my measurements from 3/27/04 are 42, 41.5, 47.5, and 30. Today they are 40, 38.5, 44, and 27. That's 11.5 inches lost on my body. Not to mention that I started this year weighing in at 235. I now weigh 208.5. I finally broke 210!!

Randomness

Lazy day and I have no point to ponder on. Just sweet, sweet randomness. Ahhh, it's nice.

Here's my warning label. I must say, it fits me just fine:

NOTE: z

No smoking around Arrogant Sage. Thankyou for your co-operation.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Hey, Pez, I was just singing that song 10 minutes before I read your blog...how funny. I got a song too...provided by Astraweb.

Hit the Floor by Linkin Park

There are just too many times when people try to put their trust in me
Wondering when I think of you well I protect you out of courtesy
Too many times that I held on but when I didn't you push away
Afraid to say what is wrong and right, Afraid to say what I need to say
Too many things that you say about me when I'm not around
You think you have the upper hand and you got to put me down
Well I got so many sad thoughts of you it's about as much as I can stand
So I wait till the upper hand is mine

One minute you're up top
(You better not want to draw)
Making a rough start
(Just before you hit the floor)
One minute you're up top
(You better not miss a shot)
Making a rough start
(You think you won)
And then it's all gone

So many people like me that put so much trust in all the lies
So concerned with better things and just say what we feel inside
So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long

All of those and all they want is to feel like I've been stepped on
There are so many things you say that make me feel you cross the line
Watch this I will show you all I am counting down the time
Well I got so many sad thoughts of you it's about as much as I can stand
So I wait till the upper hand is mine

One minute you're up top
(You better not want to draw)
Making a rough start
(Just before you hit the floor)
One minute you're up top
(You better not miss a shot)
Making a rough start
(You think you won)
And then it's all gone

I know I can't trust or see the way you say
And now I realise you're byast but you're right anyway
And now your eyes have got you thinking up for what you saw
I know now something's got to fall

One minute you're up top
(You better not want to draw)
Making a rough start
(Just before you hit the floor)
One minute you're up top
(You better not miss a shot)
Making a rough start
(You think you won)
And then it's all gone


That one is for T...she knows just who it should go out to. ;)

Ernie + Wonder Woman = Love Connection??

Today a sweet friend from Onlineville (that's the internet for you slow folks) came by to visit little ol' me. We had a good time just "shootin' the shit" and blowing Flexpoints at Burger King. She SWEARS she heard a voice beckoning her to eat a Whopper Jr. I swear it was just the lady behind the counter.

C (a.k.a Ball of Energy)decided to do what a two-year old does best...make a huge mess. I made the mistake of trying to wrestle her for the onion ring sauce...and those punks at BK are Napkin Nazis. Luckily, Pez had a magical bag full of goodies. Anybody remember Mary Poppins and her bag of infinite space? Pez had wipes at the ready. I was shamed as a mommy...I left my bag in the car.

We thought it best to take the little ones to the park. It was fun and we never lost any of the kids for longer than 5 minutes! Did I mention that Pez brought C and I a couple of Pez dispensers with sweet, sweet Pez candy? C immediately tore into those packages when we got home. She made them kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss...I think Ernie's lips are chapped.



Oh and everyone...Cars is the real deal cutie pie! The little cry when his mommy walks away is soo darling. It makes you wanna sop him up with a biscuit.

C's Closet looks like an ad for

The Children's Place! I don't know how it happened...oh, wait, yes I do. My good friend, A, called me up yesterday talking about that wonderful sale they have advertised on their webpage.

First I got a little clammy, then I started to twitch. Uh-oh...Must.Go.To.Mall.....SHOPPING!!! Ah, the relief I felt from walking through those doors. That little girl cleaned up. I bought her 6 or 7 (I would have to go in her room to check exact number and since she is sleeping peacefully, why disturb her?) shirts and a couple of hair accessories.

Big D vetoed some choice 70's stuff, but that's okay...I managed to survive. Then we got some yogurt and walked around Best Buy. Now the shopping monster has been subdued...until next time...muhahahahahahahaha

In the Immortal words of Pez

Nothing to see here folks. Hope your 4th was a good one...move along now.